What NOT to say to someone struggling with infertility

  1. Ahh…this made me laugh & cry at the same time.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I was referred to your blog by a friend, and started with this entry, since it was at the top. 🙂 Enjoyed your humorous but so very truthful entry! I have had some of those comments said to me!


  3. Poekitten says:

    It really is crazy some of the things people will say to someone dealing with infertility! It just boggles my mind sometimes.

    • That's why I loved tying it together with paralysis. Something you have NO control over. Something you can't change. Medically diagnosable. And yet, people STILL think they have something to say about it that we haven't already heard or thought about!

    • Also, no one would EVER say any of those things to someone who is paralyzed. Everyone realize's how preposterous that would be. But, it's no holds barred for the girl with less babies than they think we should have.

  4. Meg says:

    THIIIIIIS! If I have to hear that I'm "getting old" and need to consider adoption one more time…

  5. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for writing this. We have gotten a lot of these types of comments in the past (not out of malice or anything – just not quite understanding what we were going through), so it's nice to know that we're not the only ones. 🙂

  6. Anonymous says:

    I think it all comes down to the fact that only you know what you are going through. No one else knows what that is like. People are human and even I have been guilty of saying some of these things or some iteration thereof. I think that it is important that people to be gentle on themselves for saying stupid stuff. Life is too short to get worked up over stuff. That being said, thank you for the post.

    • I'm pretty sure I've been guilty of saying(or at least thinking and believing) some of these things before my own experience with infertility. I never would have wanted to hurt someone or cause anyone pain, especially a dear friend, so I would have been happy to have been taught what would be good things to say/not say before experiencing it personally(the comments towards me regarding infertility).

      It's a good reminder to not let comments get under your skin since they are usually coming from a "trying to be helpful" place, but it's also nice to be able to inform people before their next encounter!

      Thanks for commenting!

  7. *colette* says:

    This is so funny and sadly so true. I have heard at least a half dozen of those comments from well-meaning friends and family members. I am so glad I found your blog… I have had trouble finding infertility resources and your posts are so helpful. (I just spent 2 hours reading from the beginning).

    • And that is PRECISELY why I have this here. If I can help even one person with my story, it's important for me to write it and have it out here. {of course, it is amazingly helpful and therapeutic for me to write it out as well} Thank you commenting and letting me know that 🙂

  8. Thank you so much for posting this! I saw your blog on The Bump and this post is funny and such a great analogy. Would you mind if I reposted this in my blog with a link to yours?

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