The Yogurt Episode
“Mama, I want to get dressed after breakfast”
“No, let’s go ahead and get you ready first. We’ll be leaving soon, so let’s go ahead and get all ready.”
“I really want to wear my sparkly purple tights!!”
*I think to myself. It’s freezing outside- what in the world will I pair them with? Don’t stifle the creative process! Let her wear the tights!*
“Sure, sweetheart. Here, let’s wear this”
Get the girl dressed. Get the girl to the table. Get the girl breakfast. Pray that we are kind, patient, gentle, and loving with each other today. Thank you for this food. Amen.
Turn my back to put things back into the fridge and hear this:
“Mama?! I need a paper towel!”
Turn around to see the blue gogurt{yes, all of the paleo, non processed Mama’s take a collective gasp here} that she has eaten every single day for the last 3 months and never ever spills has been promptly grabbed, smushed, and dumped down the front of her cream sweater, white shirt, denim skirt, and purple sparkly leggings.
That prayer I’d just prayed over breakfast?
It went sailing out the window.
I yelled. I’m pretty sure I slammed my hand on the counter.
I started to wipe up the mess and she wouldn’t stop putting her hands in it. Spreading it further.
The yelling increased.
Her crying started.
I stripped her down and told her to go sit on her bed.
I indignantly took her clothes to be rinsed and stain sticked before the blue could ruin her clothes.
*Scrub scrub scrub*
*grouse grouse grouse*
*grumble grumble grumble*
*me me me me me me me*
Then, the fog lifted. The Holy Spirit intervened.
That quiet voice that whispers, reflect on what you have just done. What is more important? Messy clothes? Even if they were stained forever? Or, your precious daughter’s gentle heart.
*put down the clothes*
Quietly walk back into the bedroom. Get on my knees. To her level.
Take her into my arms.
“Abigail. Mama is so, so sorry for yelling at you. I know that your spill was just an accident and I should have never gotten so angry. You are more important to me than a mess. Will you please forgive me?”
“Sure, Mom!”
And just like that- it was over and forgotten.
We picked out a new outfit. We walked back to the kitchen table. We finished our gogurt and our breakfast together.
I wish I could forgive and forget as quickly as my almost 3 year old daughter just did. If someone talked to me the way I had talked to her, I would be guaranteed to sulk about it all day. But, she simply moved on and our day has been wonderful since.
One of the most humbling things I’ve had to learn how to do since becoming a mama is learning to apologize and ask forgiveness to my child. There aren’t many times in an adult life that you really have to do that with another person{or at least, we probably should, but it’s easier to side step the issue or avoid it entirely}.
But, motherhood has been busily refining me. Therefore, those ugly bits of impatience, selfishness, and entitlement sure do like to rear their ugly heads. Which has been giving me lots of opportunity’s to apologize and ask forgiveness from my little girl.
If I ever want her to learn to do the same, which she is already learning- for sure, then I have to be intentional about being an example for her. Showing her and guiding her specifically how to heal a broken relationship after a rift has been created.
Thankfully, we have some amazing bible verses to point to, to teach us exactly how to do this:
Colossians 3: 13-15
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Love.
Peace.
Unity.
Thanks.
Tender heart.
Forgiveness.
Nothing that I can accomplish on my own, but everything I can because of Christ.
Can you relate to this? How do you handle apologizing to your children when you mess up?
I love this Courtney! So true! Something similar happened to me yesterday, I hate myself afterwards when I yell at the kids for accidents. This is such a great reminder. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Cindy! I've never really thought of myself as a "yeller". But, then things like this happen and I'm pretty sure I need to reconsider my label of myself. Definitely an area in my life that needs to be worked on 🙂 I'm glad I'm not alone!
Beautifully written! It takes a lot of patience to be a mom. I'm always working on mine!
Thank you, Laura! Sheesh, isn' t that the truth? Just when you think you have enough, you find that you always needs a little more 🙂
Yes. I'm just now realizing that I'm a yeller. I don't want to tell at my 15 month old! I'm having to be very intentional about how I say things. It's amazingly humbling.
It's so true! And it starts even when they are so little. Pray, pray, pray 🙂
AWESOME post! I needed to hear this today! Thanks for your honesty 🙂
Thank you, Lauren!
You're welcome. Nothing like airing your dirty{yogurt stained} laundry for the world to read, eh? 🙂
i love this! so honest, real, and true. so filled with the fruit of the Spirit!!!
xx
elise
Thank you so much, Elise! xo
I'm so very glad that you posted this! This happens to us more often than I'd like to admit, and I'm not a yeller. It is a very humbling thing to admit your shortcomings to your child, but you have done a beautiful job with this story and lesson. This blog really made my heart smile!
Thank you, Carrington. I'm so glad!
Wow. Thank you for being so open Courtney. Thank you for sharing those verses. Sometimes God can teach us things that on our own are certainty just plain hard. But he pulls us through.
I know for me on days when I am drained and tired I have been short and stressed sounding toward my babe when she is gearing toward the fussy mode or when she just wants to be hyper and play. Lol… I have stop. Breathe. And smile. And if I can't smile, I just breathe. Lol… and ask her to forgive mommy. I know by that gracious smile that she does. So we play.
I felt yesterday God was telling me "what are you teaching your daughter? What are you allowing me to teach you?" Spending time in his word so he can teach us as his daughter and as our babies mommies is so important. so I spur you on in that.
Thanks for being a God fearing Christian woman, wife and mama. You are inspiring to others alike. =) ☆
I think it's great to pull everyday comparisons into my personal relationship with Jesus. When I think about how I'm speaking to others, I think about how He would speak to me. When I think about how I'm feeling when I'm serving others, I stop and think about how He would serve me.
Instant perspective change 🙂
What a great post. I know I am guilty of losing my cool over somthing silly. I always remind myself that it isnt the end of the world and just move on.
Thanks, Lauren!
True that it isn't the end of the world, but restoration does still have to happen first- then everyone gets to move on 🙂
GREAT post. Sounds oh-so-familiar. 🙂
Thank you, Tricia!
Such a good post! I have definitely found myself losing my cool when H decides to paint her yogurt all over herself while sis is melting down. I'm learning to take a deep breath and say a quick prayer before I react… SUCH a hard dicipline to learn. I'm also learning that she repeats EVERYTHING I do and say when I'm frustrated… Like sighing and even my tone of voice! So humbling to have little eyes always watching.
Yes! That is definitely what I'm trying to do. Learn to really pause, pray, BREATHE haha, before I speak back to her. Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace 🙂
Such a great post, Courtney!
Thanks, Ashley!
This was beautiful!!!
Thank you 🙂