Helping Big Sister Adapt

  1. Becky Goerend says:

    Our oldest had a really hard time when our middle guy came along. There is a 3.5 year age gap, so he definitely had been the star of the show for a while. We did some fun things like a movie night with popcorn and candy, taking him to the store to pick out a small toy, and other little things to try to make him feel special.

  2. Amanda {Tickled Pink} says:

    Girlfriend!!!!!! This is my life right now!!!! I think Lily had some sort of delayed onset?! Like you said, there isn't any resentment or misbehaving towards Ben. It is towards mom! Screaming. Oohhhh the screaming!!! Drives me insane. A little regression in behavior as well as general boundary testing. It's hard because I constantly need to remind myself that she is 3 not 17 because I feel like I expect so much from her. She is a really good little girl, big heart, adores Ben, but is also craving attention like a wild woman. We've kept discipline the same but it seems like the days she gets more cuddles & attention are her best.

  3. oh, sorry to hear she's been having a difficult time. i have heard about this happening, though obviously i have no experience. my best friend's first son was 11 when her 2nd arrived, and her 2nd had just turned 2 when her 3rd arrived. The first is obviously quite fine, and she said the 2nd has been dealing really well with the 3rd, but he's quite young. Hope it continues to improve!

  4. Stasia says:

    Thank you for the real post! We are trying to prepare for this! I have been told that everything you are experiencing is normal and will lessen with time. The best piece of advise I have gotten so far is to pick on thing every day to do just with the first child… one on one time everyday. I am going to *try* this. I am really interested to see how BD reacts because she is so excited about Jameson, but I have already noticed a change in her clingyness (she only wants me) in the last few weeks. It is like she knows what is about to happen!

  5. hello erin says:

    I think now that once we got a set schedule and when KK started napping in her crib we saw a huge attitude adjustment. Lex got way more "alone" time daily with me because kenz was tucked away in her room. Now lex gets alone time during naps and then after little sister goes to bed at night. And she's thriving with it. Sure she's three and we still have to rule with an iron first but hang in there. Things change and change quick. Heck lex even now admits she has a sister!

  6. Kelly Mock says:

    Aww, little A! She's getting there! Becoming a big sister is hard and I was 7 when it happened! I think you were smart to do some 1 on 1 time with her! My girlfriend does that with her kids once a month with each kid. I've always thought, I need to remember that one!

  7. Great post, and thank you for sharing! It sounds like Abigail really is a great big sister but just needed some Mommy time too. This is one of those things that you never know how it's going to go, so I really enjoyed reading about what you did and what helped.

  8. Yup, that adjustment- period attitude sounds about right! Big sister definitely are troopers though!

  9. Thank you, thank you, thank you for such an honest post. I am so anxious/nervous/scared of what the transition will be like for Marcus. While I *hope* it's easy, and seamless, and flawless, I know that's just being silly and naive. So, reading this has put what's possibly (probably) going to come our way into a bit more focus.

  10. Carol says:

    Love this post! We have been going through the same things with Kennedy, tantrums and the whole yelling instead of talking thing. At first we thought a lot of it was also because her age, terrible twos! But honestly I think a lot of it is because of the change. We are taking her to a fireworks show tomorrow night just her and she is so excited so hoping that helps!

  11. Adding a new kiddo to the family is an adjustment for everyone. I was two when my little sister came along and my mom still tells stories of her sweet girl turned crazy big sister. I pulled the baby off the couch, was too rough with her and wasn't thrilled she was there at first. Thankfully, we all adjusted and I came to my senses to realize having a sister is GREAT. Abigail is already a great big sis and it sounds like your regular routine was perfect for her. Sorry for the meltdown phase and the one in front of your entire church. My dad always says to me, "This won't be the first time she does something to embarrass you or the last." when I call to tell him a wild toddler tale. Parenthood is no joke!!

  12. I'm glad to hear she's getting back to her old self! Don't panic though, I've heard it's very normal(although not fun haha) for kids to act out when they get a new sibling. When my sister-in-law's parents brought her home her big sister smacked her. What a welcome!

  13. Definitely have no experience but love the post. It is hard for any little kid and most people to adjust to such a big change. I'm glad she's calming back down.

  14. Thank you for being so honest. This is some great I for for whenever Ellie gets to be a big sis!

  15. I have no experience and no real advice, but it sounds like you guys are doing everything right! Staying consistent is key and spending one on one time with her is key as well. It sounds like she was just craving attention from mom and dad vs grandma and even though I'm sure she was having a ball with grandma, she still needed her mom. If you guys have at least one special time together a week, I think she should be a happy camper 🙂 Even if you just take her to get breakfast or Starbucks or even grocery shopping. Just knowing thats "Abigail and Mom time" will be so special for her!

  16. I bet she will be a great big sis! I hope everyone gets into the swing of things soon-sounds like you're all well on your way! 🙂

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