December 16, 2016
On this day, 10 years ago, 18 year old me and 20 year old him, made a huge, life altering covenant with one another.
On this day, 10 years ago, we promised before our God, our family, and our friends, to love and cherish one another until we are parted by death.
Today, we are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary.
And you know that I could show up here and share all of these pictures with you and make you think that everything is wonderful and perfect between us.
But you know me, and you know that isn’t how I operate. Two tickets to realville, please and thank you.
As most of you know, an absolute nuclear bomb was dropped on our marriage this summer. It completely shattered everything that we had ever built together. It was the darkest, hardest, worst time of my life.
I remember a dear reader emailing me and mentioning that sometimes she would look at her wedding pictures on the walls of her home and expect them to just burst into flames. And I have to say, I very much felt the same.
Everything was gone. Obliterated.
Except for one thing.
I remember the day we got married. I remember walking down the aisle after it was over and thinking, “that’s it? that’s all it takes to be married?” I mean, all of that time waiting and working and preparing, and just like that, it was official.
But now I know that “it” wasn’t all it took- it was everything.
The covenant that we made to God and to each other supersedes everything else in this world. It carries more weight and more power than any promise we could make anywhere else.
It changes you, it transforms you, and it gives you the ability to hang on to something when there is nothing else left.
So that’s what we did. From the ground floor up, we have been clawing, scraping, clinging our way back together.
And oh, no no, it has not been easy. It has been the very hardest thing we have ever done- ever.
When “they” said it’s hard, they weren’t exaggerating. I’m in counseling. He’s in counseling. We’re in counseling. (If you’re not in counseling, you probably should be, lol. We all need counseling!)
So that’s why, this year, as an anniversary present, I hired a friend to write out our marriage vows. They’re going to be hung up at the top of the stairs, so we can see them and read them every day.
Because honestly? In all of our years of marriage, I don’t know that I had ever read what we promised each other that day. But when I took the time to write them out and remind myself of what I had promised him, it was transformational. (So, what I’m saying is, go back and read your marriage vows. And then print them out and then hang them up in your house)
Because the thing that held us together wasn’t ourselves- it was the covenant that we made. And it’s so incredibly beautiful and freeing to rest in that, to know that our foundation really is unshakable, that we can truly move forward.
And that’s exactly what we’re doing.
Happy anniversary, husband.
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