When Attachment Is Delayed

  1. Jessica says:

    Beautiful post, love your honesty!

  2. Ashley says:

    Yes, yes, yes, mama! I went through/am going through (???) some pretty nasty and hard PPA with Rhema girl, and it took me a long time to feel connected to her; regardless of what I KNEW to be TRUE in my mind and heart. The beginning was a lot of going through the motions on my part, and still such a hard thing to fully understand. I just thank God for grace and try to remember to give it to myself as much as I give it to other people and things in my life. Thank you for your honesty and openness (as per the uzsh!)

  3. Nicole says:

    Thanks for being so vulnerable and honest, Courtney! I had a bit of this with my daughter (one and only kiddo), but I knew I was struggling with a bit of postpartum depression and a LOT of postpartum anxiety. Her first year was HARD for me and I felt a lot of guilt about it for a long time: that I didn’t love her enough or that if I could go back and do it over again, I’d do things differently: I’d enjoy her more, take more pictures, etc. I finally had to forgive myself and let. it. go. I did the best that I could at the time and the mere fact that I felt guilty that it wasn’t enough was proof that I was a good mom. I reminded myself (and still do sometimes) that she’s still young and there’s still time to love her more and take more pictures – so I won’t feel guilty in another 3 years looking back on this time.
    You’re a good mom. Don’t doubt yourself or your love for your kiddos.

  4. Lindsey says:

    I can relate! I always dreamed of having a daughter and when I found out that my second, and last, child was another boy I got pretty down. Knowing I would likely not experience all of the girly things I dreamed of my entire life was hard. It also caused some bad postpartum anxiety that I’m still dealing with two years later ? our relationship is much closer and sweeter now, I wouldn’t trade these little boys for anything.

  5. Julie says:

    I LOVE your honesty. I could have written this post myself….I bonded instantly with Sadie but it took me a few days with my other two. I can imagine the guilt you felt (and why??? We are moms with emotions and fears and hormones! And shouldn’t feel guilty about our feelings…but I totally get it). Thank you for sharing a bit of your heart with us!

  6. Kristin says:

    You’re not alone. I feel the same way as my little boy turns one in two days. I still am not confident in being a “boy mom” or feel ready for all the boy things I have been warned about!

  7. Amanda says:

    I think it’s great to share so others can know they aren’t alone in this. I’m sure that is hard. I can’t personally relate with either of mine, but I know this is common and hopefully someone will be encouraged by your story! Definitely doesn’t make anyone less of a mom to feel like this. Hormones make us all crazy people in different ways.

  8. Chelsey says:

    I love that you’re willing to share this with us! I don’t know how many moms would be able to! With my first, I felt a little detached at first because she was in the NICU for a little while, so I don’t think I was able to bond as well because I couldn’t do much to take care of her. With my son and younger daughter, I think I had a better connection with them when they were born 🙂

  9. Shawna says:

    This is just so beautiful….

  10. Oh Court! Thank you for sharing. I feel ya on the bringing home a baby thing…I’ve nannied mostly boys so I knew what I was getting myself into but the fact that one was actually going to be living with us…whoa. Thankfully I’ve bonded with Séamus just a quickly as with Ellie! However, my Finnley was a bit delayed as well – now I love her more than anything but I understand to an extent.

  11. Lauren Wright says:

    Motherhood is different for everyone and no one tells you that! Love you and Finn!

  12. Lady, thank you for being so brave and posting this. Being a child therapist, this is such a hard and touchy topic. I have worked endless hours with moms and families who for reasons out of their control were not able to bond. It is so hard an scary–and not talked about enough at all. But it can happen. And you are brave sticking with it, admitting it to yourself, and also for sharing. Seriously.
    I know I am unable to have babies but always wanted girls, yet somehow my caseload is boy driven and because I love superheros and cars and such, I don’t mind. I would be terrified of being a boy mom. ?
    And I can’t say it enough thank you for sharing.

  13. Madelyn says:

    Thanks for your honesty. When my first (and only) child was born, my son, it took a solid 9 months to feel the love/bond. (I commented on your FB post about how difficult breastfeeding was for me. That had a huge part in it, I think. Just feeling awful and resentful and guilty all the time.) When it came, one random day, for no reason, it CAME. Just an all-encompassing love that I couldn’t believe!

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