December 20, 2018
12 years on Sunday.️
I felt called to post a smiling and happy photo of us + a totally raw and honest post, because, man. You guys have been following our family and our story for years and you know. You know that in year 9 we almost didn’t make it. We fought about custody and separation and I had to think about getting a job and putting Abigail in school and I’m positive we couldn’t have hated another human being more if we tried.
That’s where we were. But that’s not where we stayed. And I want the hundreds of you who message me and let me know that your marriage is hurting and failing and you feel like it’s just you because NO ONE ELSE is talking about it and it’s all just smiles and perfect poses, I want you to know that IT ISN’T JUST YOU. You are not alone in this.
This is so far beyond cliche “marriage is hard” quips and jokes about balled up socks on the floor and nagging wives. It’s deep down, painful, raw wounds that can only come from being hurt by someone you love and trust so infinitely.
Of course, every marriage is unique. Every story is different. And they all require different care and have different outcomes- but if you need some hope today. If you need to know that it doesn’t have to be the way that things are right now- let me offer that to you.
We couldn’t have been worse. And today we are happy. We didn’t get lucky. And time alone didn’t heal it. We worked and we worked and we worked some more. And God redeemed and restored and bound up painful hurts. (if you need further inspiration, go check out @lysateurkert’s page as well)
So cheers to 12 years, babe. We’re doing it.
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