January 28, 2019
If you’ve been following along on my IG and FB pages, you already know about our scare with Finn last week. And as much as I really, really, REALLY don’t want to relive this again, I know that I need to write it all out. Get it OUT of me. Share what happened, and hopefully start working on really moving on.
It all started on Thursday afternoon. After taking a HUGE morning nap, he had a little bit of a runny nose, and a low grade fever (101). He was happy, playing normally, eating normally, totally normal diapers. I thought, maybe teeth? I held him some for his nap (never happens) and he took a short rest in his crib before I took his temp again and decided to give him a bath and some oils on his feet. That brought it down to 99 and he seemed to be just fine. Pretty snuggly. But mostly fine.
My parents arrived that afternoon because Jim and I were flying to Las Vegas Friday morning, so we went out to dinner together and he ate a bunch of chicken and french fries- happy as a clam.
I had a hair appointment after dinner and while I was there Jim texted me that Finn’s fever had gone up to 103, so he quickly gave him ibuprofen and a lukewarm bath- and once again, his temperature went back down.
He put him to bed and I peeked in on him around 10, touched his forehead, and he felt okay to me.
Thankfully, my Mom and I ended up staying up late talking that night and I didn’t head to bed until midnight. Before I got in bed though, I went back to peek in on him one more time before going to sleep. When I opened the door I accidentally woke him up and thought oh darn it! He was crying so I thought, well, I might as well actually take his temp while he is up. So I took our forehead thermometer in and touched it to his forehead.
ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN.
It flashed red and beeped frantically at me and I thought….that CAN NOT be right.
I took him out of his bed to look for a paci he had thrown on the floor and he was crying and I cleared the thermometer and took it again and it beeped red and frantic and one hundred and seven at me again.
I rannnnn downstairs and got my Mom and she said, yes. Let’s get him to the hospital immediately.
I rannnnn upstairs and woke up Jim and we threw our things in my purse, tossed some socks on Finn, threw him in the car, and raced to the hospital.
I thought the drive to the hospital while in labor was the longest and most painful drive of my life.
I was wrong.
But he was so calm. And so happy. And he held my hand and waved to me and pointed out the trees and lights and cars as we drove by.
We arrived at the hospital and raced him in to the ER and had to wait while they checked someone in in front of us. Then they slowllyyyyy got our info. And slowlyyyyy weighed him. And slowlyyyy took his temp- it registered as 102.8 (which I attribute to our van having been parked outside, so it was cold on the drive over and brought it down. thank God) so they weren’t in any real hurry.
Thankfully, they took us straight back to a room- but there wasn’t much concern or hurry after that point.
Someone came in and asked a few questions, “how long has he been this sick?” He hadn’t!!! This afternoon!?
Someone else came in and said they would bring some meds to help lower his temp (they never did)
Someone else came in and swabbed his nose and his throat for RSV, Flu, and Strep.
The Dr came in and listened to him and said they would do a chest x-ray, which they did.
and while we waited for results, we tried to keep him comfortable. he was so, so, so tired. but he couldn’t sleep. he was burning up. he was overstimulated.
And we turned the lights off in our room and put him on his belly to try and get him to sleep (he always sleeps on his belly with his little booty in the air) and just as he was starting to drift off, that’s when I saw his eyes roll back into his head.
I said, “MOM!?! is he seizing?!!” and she sprang into action and scooped him up and ran into the hall and started shouting “he is seizing! he is seizing!”
and I can hardly talk about what happened next because it was the most horrifying and excruciating and terrifying experience of my life and I am going to have nightmares about it for a long, long, long time.
No one raced in. It was all, la dee dah- yep it’s a seizure. these things happen. meanwhile, MY BABY is convulsing and unresponsive. his lips were blue and they stripped him down and put him on his side and an oxygen mask on his face and I was down by his face telling him how much I loved him and that Mommy is here, mommy is here, mommy is here.
Eventually more and more dr’s and nurses came in and they were all working away on him and I couldn’t take it anymore
Jim and I crumpled into a corner and this was the moment as it went on and on and on and he was silent. and I thought- this is it.
This is my worst nightmare happening. My baby is going to die and I am not going to get to bring him home.
Time passed in the slowest and worst way.
Eventually he started crying and it was the best sound of my entire life. and I heard the Dr talking to Jim and telling him that the chest x-ray showed pneumonia, so that was the source of the fever. and the fever was the source of the seizure. and that he was going to be okay.
and i heard him say that. but it really didn’t feel like it was true. because I had just seen the worst thing imaginable.
Then they tried to get an IV in him and they couldn’t. He was stuck, 6? 7? times before they could get an IV in him- screaming and screaming because it hurt.
They had to take a blood culture and it took forever and hurt and hurt because they couldn’t get a lot at once.
They couldn’t start the antibiotics until more test results came back.
So they admitted us.
Longest. Worst. Night. Ever.
His IV was in the worst place (his wrist) and hurting him so much. They had to keep adjusting it and checking him and no one was sleeping and I was in shock and sick and beside myself. It was a literal nightmare.
But, around 5/6 am, they finally had all of the test results in. The antibiotics finally arrived (OH YEAH! Apparently the hospital had a power outage??! so they were running on generators so his antibiotics got stuck in the tube that transports them from the pharmacy. so they had to request another order which was a whole thing and then someone had to hand deliver it which was a whole thing and I’m telling you. worst experience ever) and we got our new nurse for the day who was AMAZING. I could cry, he was amazing.
And as soon as the antibiotics made it to Finn, it was a night and day difference. The meds had brought down his fever. The antibiotics were fighting instead of his body. He was hungryyyy and ate breakfast and eventually they were able to take out his horrible IV (Because it was shifted and was pumping fluid into his hand/arm instead of his veins…) and everything improved rapidly after that.
And just as quickly as everything had been horrible, it was all back to normal again. They discharged us that afternoon- I think we got home around 2? 3?
Ever since, he has been his happy, usual Finn self. He is taking an antibiotic 2x a day (which he loves, crazy child) and we will follow up with his pediatrician next week.
They said he tested positive for something called coronavirus- which is basically just a common cold. which is what grew into pneumonia. The ER recorded his seizure as lasting for five full minutes (but that is just the time of active convulsions- not including how long it took for him to “wake up”). And if he never gets sick again, it will be too soon.
As for me, I am still just an absolute MESS. I can not process what I saw and what happened- though I am working on it. I am so thankful. Every detail- from my parents being here. To going and checking on him one last time. To being at the hospital when it happened. Just on and on- even when it didn’t feel like it- we were held.
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